How long should a man stay away from his family?

How long can a married woman live without her husband? If the man has four wives, he will spend only twenty five percent of his time with her, but what about the woman whose Tableeghi Jamaat husband stays away for long periods lasting (in some cases) upto a year? Will she not feel bad that her husband is not around to share her problems? Will her children grow up to be normal individuals? I doubt it.

One of my wife’s brothers used to work abroad, and would only come home twice a year to be with his family. Both his sons were brainwashed into joining the Tableeghi Jamaat, and since they’re absolutely unemployable, they do nothing but spend long hours in the nearby mosque talking to men like themselves who also have nothing to do. And every now and then, they join other Tableeghi Jamaat members and go on countrywide tours telling villagers how to wash their private parts. Their poor father has to pay the expenses of both his daughters-in-law and his grandchildren as well. I wonder how they will survive after he’s dead.


43 thoughts on “How long should a man stay away from his family?”

  1. @ Mohamed: “I am concerned about the rest of the audience.” Well, I’m not. I know that the only danger to Muslims is from people like you. In fact, Islam has survived for 14 centuries because of the Sufis, not because Muslims were intolerant of others. Please stop worrying, even 70 years of repression by the Russians couldn’t break the spirit of the Chechens. Kashimirs have been raped and brutalized for decades, yet they remain staunch Muslims.

  2. @ Ahsan & Mohamed: if you chaps think you’re right and I’m wrong, I don’t mind. That’s the difference between you and me, the difference between those who live in the twenty first century and those who lived in the Stone Age. I have a humorous story about a man who died recently (I’m sure Allah will grant him a good place in heaven). He was sleeping peacefully one evening in his house when some people like you knocked at his door. Rubbing his eyes, he invited them into his house, and listened for the next thirty minutes on their sermon (which was exactly what you keep saying here, that only people like you know the true meaning of Islam, etc). Finally, he told them wearily, “Brothers, I know I’m doomed, as (according to you) I am not a true Muslim (since I listen to music and watch TV and don’t spend most of my time in mosques). So I appeal to you to stop trying to convert me. However, there is one thing I would like you to do. My wife spends most of her time praying, she doesn’t watch TV, she doesn’t even read the newspapers, so please arrange for her just one Tarzan-like man in heaven (not seventy).” The Tableeghis immediately said, “La howla wala quwatta!” and left.

  3. @Ahsan: I agree Shakir may be beyond mending. However, he and a few like him appear to unwary audience as rational & balanced. When, in fact they are only nefarious ones with a malicious agenda. I wish more people like you would spend time in these forums to clear-up the mess. I am concerned about the rest of the audience.

  4. Nice Comment brother @mohamed.
    I think, we shouldn’t spend our time to convince @shakir, Because, i have read very nice comments over there in this post.
    If you say, milk is black then no one there to convince you.

  5. @Shakir:

    If he converted under pressure, he would not have a huge beard. Perhaps he would have even stopped short of changing his name.

    In the recent months most of the articles about the spread of Islam that were on the across the world news media have been removed as if in a coordinated move.

    In any case, this is the plan of Allah SWT, everyone can just keep denying the growth of Islam till a time comes when reality hits them in the face.

    Despite no organised effort anywhere in comparison to the Christian missionaries, media bias and bad “Muslim” examples, Islam is the fastest growing religion with no apparent “sword”.

    Fain would they extinguish Allah’s light with their mouths, but Allah will not allow but that His light should be perfected, even though the Kafirun (Unbelievers) may detest (it).
    – Translation of the Glorious Qur’an 9:32

    It is He Who has sent His Messenger (Muhammad SAW) with guidance and the religion of truth (Islam), to make it superior over all religions even though the Mushrikun (persistent polytheists) hate (it).
    – Translation of the Glorious Qur’an 9:33

    Priest burns himself to death over Islam’s growth
    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article623634.ece

    Talk about women’s rights in Islam, check this:
    Why European women are turning to Islam:
    http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/1227/p01s04-woeu.html

    Shakir, as Ahsan mentioned you seem to dislike the fact that like Yousuf non-Muslims are becoming Muslims. Allah SWT the most wise has said in the verses quoted above only 2 groups of people hate the growth of Islam, one are the Unbelievers or rejecters and second are the Mushrikoon or the persistent polytheists. Here is a warning you might be falling into one of those categories.

    “A man’s religion is his own personal matter”. Please reconcile this statement with that which Allah most high says:

    “Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.”
    – Translation of the Glorious Qur’an 16:125

  6. This is not true, you can’t change a person’s believe with force.You can try and let me know, when you get a break through.
    Mohammad yousaf became Muslim with his own will.
    You can catch him and ask him.I have spent some time with Saeed anwar ,junaid jamshaid and saqlain mushtaq in london.
    They have changed their lives completely, but being a pakistani, we have a habit of negative thinking.So, Everybody has his own views upon their change.
    Now, Shahid afridi is our 20,20 and one day captain and team is playing well.He is also tableighi.If our team don’t perform well in coming days then same kind of questions will be raised again.
    Please, don’t attach their religious activities with cricket just like that you don’t attach their bad issues(drinking,girl friends etc) with their performance.

  7. some feel he converted under pressure…if that is the case, then it’s wrong wrong wrong

    but if it was his own will, then Subhanullah!

    simple as that

    incidentally, our team played pretty shitty when they all had long beards and went through that tableeghy stage. Even Afridi was not up to his game.

    Now thank God, our team is among the best. Pakistan Zindabad

  8. @ Ahsan: “You are not happy to see Mohammad Yousaf, as a Muslim”. A man’s religion is his own personal matter. However, in the case of Yousuf Youhana, there were persistent reports before his conversion that some players didn’t like to sit at the same table with him, while his Mercedes car was damaged by those who apparently don’t like Christians.

  9. That was not the case with me.I went to England for higher study with a clean shaved, non_practicing Muslim and got beard there and also completed my master degree there and did two jobs there mobile developer and lecturer in a college.
    We went to mosques with our own money,time and efforts to spend,only to get the pleasure of Allah swt, there is no worldly purpose behind that,its a worrying concern brother that how me ,my family and other Muslim be successful in this life and here after.
    Tableigh didn’t stop me to work in a big private company wearing trouser and shirt.If you don’t want to with them, then just let them do their job,they are not asking for any funds(Chandaa) to perform the Islamic rituals.
    I am just not sure, Your background, Your question was ok, but I worried about your following comment:


    Shakir Lakhani
    August 16th, 2009 10:07 GMT

    Yousuf Yuhana used to make the sign of the cross whenever he scored a century, and it was nice to see a couple of non-Muslims in the team (Danesh Kaneria, still a Hindu, was the other). There was a time when quite a lot of our players were Christians (Wallis Mathias, Duncan Sharpe and Antao D’Souza come to mind). There also used to be a Hindu (Anil Dalpat) who later on went to play for the New Zealand team. ”

    You are not happy to see Mohammad Yousaf, as a Muslim.
    May Allah swt guide,all of us to the right path!

  10. @ Ahsan: “if your father is away from home to earn money and visit home once a year or twice a year….”. The children of such fathers usually suffer from depression when they become adults and most of them become Tableeghis (useless people).

Leave a Reply