Chowrangi

How long should a man stay away from his family?

How long can a married woman live without her husband? If the man has four wives, he will spend only twenty five percent of his time with her, but what about the woman whose Tableeghi Jamaat husband stays away for long periods lasting (in some cases) upto a year? Will she not feel bad that her husband is not around to share her problems? Will her children grow up to be normal individuals? I doubt it.

One of my wife’s brothers used to work abroad, and would only come home twice a year to be with his family. Both his sons were brainwashed into joining the Tableeghi Jamaat, and since they’re absolutely unemployable, they do nothing but spend long hours in the nearby mosque talking to men like themselves who also have nothing to do. And every now and then, they join other Tableeghi Jamaat members and go on countrywide tours telling villagers how to wash their private parts. Their poor father has to pay the expenses of both his daughters-in-law and his grandchildren as well. I wonder how they will survive after he’s dead.

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Shakir Lakhani

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43 responses to “How long should a man stay away from his family?”

  1. Mohammad Yusha Avatar
    Mohammad Yusha

    >As for urinating while standing up-it is a Sunnah.

    @Momina: You mean while sitting down?

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  2. James Killian Spratt Avatar
    James Killian Spratt

    We have our “taglighees” here in the US, too. We call them “bums” if they are not sending money home to support their families. We have worse, too, in the form of guys who will have children, leave and divorce the wife, leaving her to fend for the children, then go marry another foolish woman and have another brood with her. I have heard these guys described as “shitoids,” appropriately, I believe.

    A lot of western women, even those with children, will engineer a disagreement with their husbands to drive him off, then use their feminine charms to trade up to a more financially productive husband, a creepy variation on “hypergyny.” The most appropriate term for those men is “sucker,” and the most appropriate term for those women is “prostitute,” to my thinking. Our family court system does a rollicking business dealing with these people and their poor children.

    I once observed a hunting guide from South Africa, showing off how tough he was before a group of potential clients, drink a liter of beer in one go while standing on his head. He probably wouldn’t try to piss it out that way, though.

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  3. Momina Avatar
    Momina

    From what I have seen I also admit that most Tableeghis are not religious in nature. And well, yes, hypocritical as well…and then they create stories…unbelievable stories as a device to convince people. all that is prohibited by Islam. Islam is plain truth.

    A Muslim’s first duty is to his family. So if he is unnecessarily leaving his wife and children behind and going on trips then that is certainly haraam. If the wife has no problem with his going then that is ok. Of course a wife would want her husband to be with her and her children taking care of them. But i have seen most tableeghis’ wives have no problem with their husband’s leaving. Of course there may be others who have problems with it.

    A greater reward for a Muslim is correctly bringing up his children. The children might go on a wrong path…even the wife could…May Allah SWT protect us from all sins.

    Ameer-ul-Momineen Umar r.a. had actually decided on 6 months. It was with respect to Jihad. Travelling to the location would take a month, then stay there for four months, then another month for the return journey.

    If the wife wants her husband to return and he is able to do so he should. if he doesn’t she had every right to go the judge and ask for divorce.

    As for urinating while standing up-it is a Sunnah. It is not obligatory. Those who do not sit while urinating or not committing a sin unless the impurity-the drops of urine-reach him or his clothes. Also, one should not expose himself.

    The best way is to follow Rasool Kareem s.a.w.w. Allaho ‘Aalam

    It is TOTALLY against Islam to consider women as agents of Satan. This is quite shocking to know some Muslims have also got such unIslamic thinking.

    Reply
  4. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    “Tablighees – Your wife, mother and children also have rights according to Islam that must be fulfilled”. You must be joking. He is trained to believe that women are inferior (agents of Satan) and as for Islam, he’s told not to read translations of the Holy Book, but to read only the book written by the founder of the Jamaat (which, I strongly suspect, is run by funds contributed by enemies of Islam). I asked them how Imam Abu Hanifa could tell a woman to wait 90 years before marrying again (in case her husband was missing). I never got an answer to that.

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  5. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    Tableeghis usually answer with a blank look if you talk to them about the rights of others. They look incredulous if you tell them that there are more non-Muslims on earth than Muslims, that there are thousands of languages and dialects, that there are billions of galaxies out there with billions of suns and planets, and that it is entirely possible that one such planet may contain living beings who are a thousand times more intelligent than us. And if you tell him that such intelligent creatures may one day invade our world and destroy us, he will give you a dirty look and say “La Hol Wala Quwatta”!

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  6. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    “A lot of people urinate standing up”. In the nineteen fifties, many urinals in Karachi were destroyed because people thought it was wrong to piss while standing. Later it was found that it is allowed (I’ve read about the fourth Caliph, I think, who did it). Now I see very religious men pissing standing up and cleaning their private parts with water or tissue paper. I know that if a man’s urine contaminates his clothes, he cannot pray while wearing those clothes.

    Reply
  7. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    “Why is it ok for people to work abroad and be with their family only twice a year whereas if a person goes in Tableegh he’s a criminal?” I never said the Tableeghi is a criminal. The Tableeghi is an escapist, he doesn’t want to discharge his responsibilities towards his wife and children, he’s usually illiterate, and most often he suffers from an inferiority complex. And usually, the Tableeghi is a hypocrite. Just try asking him for financial help and you’ll find out how hard-hearted he is.

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  8. Mohammad Yusha Avatar
    Mohammad Yusha

    I met a Tablighee who told me he had done Hajj 5 times, and when I asked him if he took his wife along with him, he looked at me blankly.

    Reply
  9. Mohammad Yusha Avatar
    Mohammad Yusha

    >and go on countrywide tours telling villagers how to wash their private parts…

    LOL…ok, well, although it’s humourous, and your sense of humour has impressed me in the past (and I’m sure a lot of other people as well) the case of knowing how to wash private parts (Istinja) is actually a very serious one. A lot of people urinate standing up and then pray (Namaz). Not only is Namaz not accepted, but having urine drops on the body or clothes is a very serious sin. There is a story of a Prophet (I can’t remember which one) who heard of someone undergoing azab in the grave, and it was because that person did not take care while urinating. Even while urinating sitting down, urine drops should nottouch the body, or clothes.

    On the point of how long can a person stay away from his family, Hazrat Umar (R.A.) did not allow anyone to go for more than 4 months, so I don’t know why there are 7 months and 1 year jamaats.

    Tablighees – Your wife, mother and children also have rights according to Islam that must be fulfilled.

    Reply
  10. Mohammad Yusha Avatar
    Mohammad Yusha

    >One of my wife’s brothers used to work abroad, and would only come home twice a year to be with his family…

    Why is it ok for people to work abroad and be with their family only twice a year whereas if a person goes in Tableegh he’s a criminal?

    A lot of times, men going in Tableegh makes their wives and children happy, as they get freedom for a while.

    The majority of Tablighees go for only a few days. It is only a few who go for very long periods, without realizing that they have a duty towards their wife and their mother.

    Reply
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