Chowrangi

Indian who has not bathed in 35 years

I thought I’d seen everything. But now they’ve discovered an Indian who hasn’t had a bath in 35 years. His name is Kailash Kalau Singh, and his name might get into the Guinness Book of Records.

It seems some palmist or astrologer (there are millions in India) told him he should never bathe if he wanted to be the father of a boy. Unfortunately in his case it didn’t work. He is now the father of seven daughters, but no son. Funny thing is, his wife still lives with him. I don’t think a woman in any other country would have tolerated such a husband. He had to sell his grocery store because customers didn’t like his unhealthy personality (maybe they didn’t like the stink).

I wonder if by some miracle this man becomes the father of a boy, will all such Indians stop bathing until their wives too produce male children?

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Shakir Lakhani

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47 responses to “Indian who has not bathed in 35 years”

  1. Lt. General Ayub Khan Avatar
    Lt. General Ayub Khan

    Shakir Saab, you are better off in the motherland.

    never forget history…..but also move on. Your residence in Pakistan is much more aesthetically appealing….

    in india, the average house doesnt even have a toilet

    Reply
  2. James Killian Spratt Avatar
    James Killian Spratt

    Well, y’know, the Hindu in the picture has achieved something by answering the question that no one was asking–Is it possible to remain alive without bathing for thirty-five years? The answer seems to be “Yes.” Now we’re all ahead of the mysteries of life by just that little bit more.

    I was in a restaurant in Atlanta once near a table of six or seven East Indian young men who were celebrating their graduation from Georgia Tech. One of them piped up, apropos of I don’t-know-what, in a highly affected accent “Inja veddy, veddy dutty!!” which got everyone in the restaurant laughing.

    Reply
  3. Jame Killian Spratt Avatar
    Jame Killian Spratt

    @Hend: Yep, I see what you mean. That’s Great-greaty-great Grandpa Genghis coming through again, as he does from time to time. A barrel of laughs. Mongolians need not be offended. 🙂

    Hi, General Khan, SAH! Ha-a-a-and SALUTE! (quivering, British style.)

    @Shakir: Do you mean the border is closed? Wonder whose bright idea that was. Great for international relations, huh?

    Reply
  4. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    William: it’s a tragedy that I can’t go and visit the house in India in which I was born (it’s still standing, a cousin lives there). But to tell you the truth, I’d feel quite at home in India, where my relatives live and where the two Pakistani languages I know are widely spoken and understood.

    Reply
  5. Ali Haider Avatar
    Ali Haider

    He is still better than many Pakistanis who torture their wives/ daughter in law’s just because they can not produce boys. Let’s not laugh at India because one man has not bathed since 35 years. There are many such examples in Pakistan as well. May be even more weird!

    Reply
  6. Hend Avatar
    Hend

    Lt.Gen. Produce children? sure My doors are always open but I doubt if in the current situation, your wife will get the Indian visa. Ofcourse! Just joking, you need not be offended.

    Reply
  7. Hend Avatar
    Hend

    Spratt, see what I mean!

    Reply
  8. Lt. General Ayub Khan Avatar
    Lt. General Ayub Khan

    coming from an indian????? What kind of joke is this =D

    before you go on, produce some children……more of your countrymen will take showers and demonstrate some hygiene.

    dont bend down to the brahmin masters

    Reply
  9. Hend Avatar
    Hend

    Entirely possible that humans and Neanderthals interbred at some point of time, but schientists believe such lineages to be almost negligible and limited.

    At one time the Neanderthals were probably smarter or more advanced than humans but what enabled humans to survive and become the dominant race on earth was the human brain which was more adaptable to gain knowledge and learning…with the exception of Pakistanis ofcourse! Just joking, Pakistanis need not be offended.

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  10. James Killian Spratt Avatar
    James Killian Spratt

    @Shakir: I believe the big-head you’re referring to is probably Neanderthal. They were apparently extremely stoutly-built, with very thick-walled bones, particularly femurs; it is suspected that the relatively small amount of marrow in their thigh-bones made them susceptible to diseases like leukemia, despite the fact that they were otherwise built like tanks and a mite smarter than Cro-Magnon. From found artifacts it appears that they were the first to bury their dead with ceremony and believe in an after-life.

    Sorry if I’m short of *ibid*s and *op-cit*s, but I was quite moved to discover their unmistakable dental mark in a living human, one of those “God’s-Finger-On-Your-Head” moments. If there’s one living Neanderthal descendant, there are surely more, if anyone would care to look. It would not surprise me at all for someone to find proof that the Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons interbred. Have you ever noticed that sexual attraction makes it just a little easier to overlook that smiling sweetie’s problematical differences? 🙂

    So glad you are no longer born in India, Shakir, Fate worse than death, I’m shoh. Doesn’t seem to bother Hend or Confused, eh guys? *cackle!* Hey, nice Stetson, Hend! (so kick me!) Ha-haaaaaaaa!!!!

    Reply
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