Chowrangi

Indian who has not bathed in 35 years

I thought I’d seen everything. But now they’ve discovered an Indian who hasn’t had a bath in 35 years. His name is Kailash Kalau Singh, and his name might get into the Guinness Book of Records.

It seems some palmist or astrologer (there are millions in India) told him he should never bathe if he wanted to be the father of a boy. Unfortunately in his case it didn’t work. He is now the father of seven daughters, but no son. Funny thing is, his wife still lives with him. I don’t think a woman in any other country would have tolerated such a husband. He had to sell his grocery store because customers didn’t like his unhealthy personality (maybe they didn’t like the stink).

I wonder if by some miracle this man becomes the father of a boy, will all such Indians stop bathing until their wives too produce male children?

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Shakir Lakhani

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47 responses to “Indian who has not bathed in 35 years”

  1. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    James: last month I read about a hominid with a larger head (and consequently a larger brain) than modern man. Apparently our ancestors killed them off as well. A larger brain would mean a more intelligent human, and that species should have prevailed over our ancestors with their 1300 cc brains. But it was the species with the smaller brain which prevailed. Unless of course that hominid belonged to a species which specialized in producing morons, like people in our neighbouring country! Just joking, Indians need not be offended.

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  2. James Killian Spratt Avatar
    James Killian Spratt

    What makes us who we are is fascinating stuff, but the endless variables make it an exploration that can become infinite, and soon lost in the mists of time. Why don’t we have a written history longer than we have? Are we all so dumb as to have lost the thread? How do we explain the cast iron pot unearthed from a 2-million year-old peat bog in Britain, or the sphere lathe found in the sand in–where was it–Iraq, maybe? I suspect that, in our far distant pasts, mankind has been higher, even more advanced than he is now, and lost it, maybe a number of times, and we got set back to square one.

    A few years ago I was reading about Neanderthals; they apparently were all killed off by Cro-Magnons. Their fossils have distinctive large skulls and a marked “shovel” shape on the backs of their front teeth. Soon after that I had an American Indian girl–a Chippewa from eastern Canada– sitting for a portrait. She had a very wide space between her front teeth, and I jokingly asked her if I could take an impression of it. Laughing, she opened her mouth and I pressed a ball of wax against the back of them, pulled it away and looked at it and there it was–the Neanderthal shovel.

    Think how fast we’re moving around, and all the places we’ve been, and how, just in the last fifty years, it’s gotten so easy to travel. Pretty soon race will be nonexistent; it’s already kind of meaningless, except for its interest of variety value.

    Ha-ha! I went to a huge Spratt family reunion a couple years ago, attended also by one of African origin, named Spratt. He belongs with us. We told him to bring the rest of them next time.

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  3. Hend Avatar
    Hend

    SL

    “By the way, if all humans are descended from a few ancient tribes, why do they have different blood groups or DNA?”

    This is too much. DNA variations or difference blood groups exist even within close relatives. Because even the closest relations (excluding siblings) are not the exact same race as we are. Moreover DNA variations or local mutations can occur within a race in individuals or accross a group as such, there is nothing extraordinary about it.

    The initial human races spread into different parts of the world and due to varying environment, circumstances and local factors DNA variations went on occuring. BUT there variations are so minor or miniscule that they have absolutely no significant effect apart from may be susceptibility to certain diseases and some very shallow factors like height and tendency to put on weight etc.

    Importantly DNA variations do not have a direct correspondence with how a person looks or thinks. Even you and your brother may look a little different or have different nature, are you different races?

    Our tendency of recognizing races is very shallow and based on cosmetic factors which are the most adaptible and modifiable.

    I am not able to explain the whole geneology or history of mankind here for lack of time but please trust me on this that on a broader level all humans are one race…there isn o difference. The modern scientists have infact rejected the race theories because there is no human who is purely belonging to a particular race. We are a product of a million year of mixture of races which we have not even heard of…but our perceptions are simply based on last 6-7000 years of history.

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  4. Lt. General Ayub Khan Avatar
    Lt. General Ayub Khan

    There are zionist Israelite nationalist sect in Jamica and other parts of Carribean who insist that they are the original children of israel

    Reply
  5. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    Hend: Jews and arabs are both Semites, but the term is used mostly for Jews. Even their languages have evolved from the ancient Aramaic tongue spoken thousands of years ago. But Jews at least are recognizable by the shape of their noses. By the way, there are black jews also (just like there are black arabs). There was a Jewish contractor who lived many years ago in Karachi who was black as coal. By the way, if all humans are descended from a few ancient tribes, why do they have different blood groups or DNA?

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  6. Lt. General Ayub Khan Avatar
    Lt. General Ayub Khan

    Hend — it has nothing to do with “hurting feelings”

    I am a soldier. You would be unable to hurt my feelings since emotions have little bearing on me.

    I just like to read sensible talk, not nonsense. That’s all.

    Reply
  7. Lt. General Ayub Khan Avatar
    Lt. General Ayub Khan

    Shakir bhai, the israelis are paying some indian Muslim to check the link…..so far, they have only hypothesized that one indian afridi is having links to israelittes.

    for Gods sakes yaar, do you have any idea how many Pukthun tribes exist? Linguistically, all fall under Indo-Aryan language branch but every tribe has his/her customs; and more relevantly, their own ancestral backgrounds.

    In my case, I am from Turri tribe. My ancestors were Turkmen from Khorasan and Bukhara. Look at the Durranis, Afridis, Bangash, Aurakzais, Kakars etc.

    incidentally, “Jew” isnt a race……its only zionists who want you to believe such a preposterous line.

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  8. Hend Avatar
    Hend

    SL

    “Looks like a jew”

    Can you explain? By the way Jews are semitic like Arabs. At the risk of offending both I can say that they are closely linked and almost the same.

    I already refered to the semitic ancestry of Afridis though some of them have some Albanian blood too due to mixing with the low ranked foot soldiers in Alexander’s army.

    Please stop mixing religion, ethnicity and cultural identity. They are three different things.

    To give an example specially simplified for YOU…A Kashmiri or a Punjabi or a Pashtun or Sindhi…can be a Muslim or a Hindu by religion, Pash/ Pun/ Sin/ Kash by culture and Arabic or Jew or Indian or Iranic or any admixture of these, at the SAME time. Hope this is not too difficult to accept.

    Only idiots talk about superiority and uniqueness of race little knowing that even accross races with most distant possible features…the relationship with each other is that of blood…its usually just a matter of a few hundred generations, that all.

    According to researchers, the human physique, human features and human colour are the most malleable parts of the anatomy which can evolve rapidly within a few generations in response to environmental and other external factors. Moreover even these changes do not always mean a change in DNA…therefore these are usually called ‘external or local adaptations’.

    Thoeretically if an African black tribe was transplanted in a northern region where sunlight is less and were deprived of vitamin ‘D’ by shunning fish etc. Their skin would change to white in a few hundred (at the most two thousand) years. I tried to find the scientific papers published on this but cannot locate for now due to lack of time…but this is a scientific finding, not mine.

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  9. Hend Avatar
    Hend

    Lt.Gen.

    If I hurt your feeling by using the word ‘uncouth’, I take it back and apologize to you. I am not racist. Because finally all the so called races merge into fewer ones as you trace your lineage by going further back. Today’s races are nothing but a snapshot and the concept of race fails completely when you understand that they all evolved from common ancestors.

    However you last statement is a result of either lack of knowledge of history of your region or plain denial. I merely stated a possibility if you read carefully…but for your mental peace let us say for now that Pashtuns did not exist before the seventh century AD when Qais Abdur Rashid converted to Islam.

    Reply
  10. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    Hend: Recently I read that Pakhtuns (particularly Afridis) are descended from Jews. I know someone who is a Muslim but looks like a Jew. His ancestors were Kashmiris, and there is a village there whose inhabitants are different from other Kashmiris. The villagers say their forefathers were Jews.

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