Meetings serve every purpose, but the purpose they are supposed to accomplish. Meetings are an excuse to come late to home. Meetings are the sessions where you get an oopportunity to oil the ego of your boss. Meetings are the occasions, where you back bite leisurely or share gossip or spread/receive rumors. Meetings are also something pretty depressing events where nobody could agree and spend a long time discussing the wrong things in the wrong way, with wrong intentions.
Meetings are also a great place to catchup with your sleep. Ok, I tell you the secret, I use meetings religiously for two purposes. One to sleep, and other one is to hatch new ideas. The idea could be constructive or destructive. But its a proven fact that ideas hatched during meetings are brilliant, but if they are not pertinent to the theme of meeting, otherwise the idea must be as useless as the meeting.
After spending some 7 to 8 years in corporate sector, I have learnt some tricks of trade to attend a meeting “professionally”.
1- Arrive on meeting on time.
2- Sit around the table, with an intelligent frown on your forehead.
3- Look grave
4- Appear to write furiously whatever the boss says
5- Don’t give a dime importance to your opponents, and appear bored to death during their speaking turn
6- When your opponent is speaking, and if bosses looks at you, smile one of those half-sarcastic, half patronizing smile
7- Always interrupt everyone except boss for the first 15 minutes.
8- Then say your part with as much conviction and theatrics as possible.
9- Go to hibernation
Have you accumulated some gems of meetings. I plead you to share them here for the benefit of human kind.