“White” magic and how to get rid of it

Not many people in Pakistan know that there is such a thing as white magic. This is because most Pakistanis (and Indians, for that matter) are always complaining that they’re victims of black magic (which only exists in their minds). It’s so easy to blame others for doing black magic on you when you are incompetent and just plain lazy. However, although people suffering from black magic can be cured (since what they’re suffering from is not black magic but depression), there is no known cure for white magic.

How can you tell if someone has done white magic on you? Let’s say that normally you’re grouchy and irritable and no one likes to have you around. Suddenly, without any reason, you wake up one day with a smile on your face. You feel younger than your age by ten years. You want to sing and dance listen to music, although you gave up singing and dancing and listening to music when people suffering from black magic told you it’s a sure way of going to hell after you die. You want to smile at everyone. You actually give a hundred rupee note to each of the five beggars in the parking lot. You even smile at your assistants in the office. Your office staff think you’ve found a girl friend. Your wife thinks you’ve gone mad. If you have these symptoms, sure as hell someone has done white magic on you. This is dangerous. Don’t just sit there, feeling cheerful and happy. Don’t you know that happiness is unnatural? Those who’re happy are never able to achieve much in life. They’ll always remain juniors. People will never take you seriously if you’re always cheerful. Start scowling immediately. Look at yourself in the mirror. Frown. Scowl. Groan. Now you’re beginning to feel like your old, normal self again. You’ve already won half the battle. Start yelling again. Make all your subordinates think they’ll be fired before the day is over. Tell your secretary to take a bath. There, feel better? That’s the way to go, man!

Just remember, white magic can kill. One man hadn’t spoken to his wife for a year. When someone did white magic on him, he tried to kiss her. The poor woman died of shock. Another gave a check for a million to a charitable organization. The check bounced because there were only a thousand rupees in his account. He was arrested and sentenced for fraud. That’s why it’s better to get rid of white magic immediately. You don’t have to go to any scholars or experts, you can do it yourself free of cost.


8 thoughts on ““White” magic and how to get rid of it”

  1. @ Hina safdar

    if u don’t know about magic, then u unaware of this. It exists, whether it is black or white , whether someone believe it or not. I can suggest u only, u should meet those people who are suffering from this, make fun of it rather…….

  2. @Hina: Mr. Yusha’s giving me the stony silence treatment (again.) Or maybe Jenni the cutie jinni has him under a spell. Well, she’s GOT to be more interesting than an old white guy, huh? Can’t say I really blame him.

    @Shakir: Thank you, my friend, you are very kind, and the best of the season to you and yours, too!

  3. @ James: we should be glad there are people like Yoo Shoo around. If it weren’t for people like him, how would we recognize intelligent people?
    By the way, in a couple of days you’ll be celebrating Christmas. I remember my college days when we used to sing and dance with pretty girls and Pakistanis were much more tolerant than they are nowadays. Most Christians have left Karachi but there are a few families still around. The Jews of course went away long ago. There’s a deserted synagogue in the old quarter of the city (it’s called the Bani Israel synagogue). So, merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family, James.

  4. @Shakir Sir

    If I had not seen the victims I might not believe on magic. I don’t understand y on earth people want to disable others or harm others by doing magic. Some times may be its only perception but I cant say their is no magic in this world.

  5. Hehe, last paragraph was pretty funny! nice article, the point clearly is the amazing dumbness that many of our countrymen collectively display as soon as they hear the words “black magic”.

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