The Menace of Joint Families

When a lot of people live together the tendency to compare arises. The perfect place for the birth of jealousy. Jealousy is the main reason for Black Magic being performed and in 99 cases out of a 100 it is performed by a relative.

Sometimes 2 married brothers will decide to live together. One with a good job and the other not well off. The tendency to compare between them and their wives will arise. It has to. One reason why there is little or no Magic in the West is because there is no such thing as a joint family in the West.

There are other problems too. Sometimes, grandparents undermine the mother’s authority because they feel that they have more experience in raising children. They pass adverse remarks to the mother in front of the children like, “You don’t know how to handle children” – As a result, the mother feels suppressed, depressed and frustrated. She, in turn, takes her frustration out on her children, which affects the overall development of the child.

These stupid grandparents should realise that it is her child. She has the right to raise them however she wants so they should keep their old mouth shut.

Daughters in law being harrased and tortured in Pakistan and India is very common. Why mothers in law become complete animals is something i’ll never understand. They will torture their daughter in law all day and when the husband comes back from work they will poison their son’s mind that your wife did this and your wife did that.

In Islam it is compulsory on a man to provide his wife with a separate house after marriage. He cannot keep her with his parents if she doesn’t want to live with them. Asking his wife to serve them is out of the question.

9 thoughts on “The Menace of Joint Families”

  1. A person cannot beat his wife and let his mother torture her and tell his wife its a trail because it is mentioned in surah Baqarah.

  2. i just quoted two examples from ppl very close to me; my mother and my professor. but you seem to generalize about “hundreds of thousands of daughters-in-law” without ever meeting these “hundreds of thousands of daughters-in-law”. you’re putting everyone under the same umbrella.

    Everyone goes through depression and grief in life. if not the in-laws, then something else, no one on earth has a perfect life. thats because Allah(SWT) Himself said in Sura Baqarah that do you think they will enter Paradise without any trials…?. and at another place in Surah Baqarah that no soul shall have a burden laid on it more than it can bear.

    Imperfect mother-in-laws, imperfect husbands, unhappy marriage, less-than-ideal job, less-than-perfect children, etc etc etc… all these things are tests…. and people have to bear them

    i dont even know how u can generalize so ruthlessly… i know quite a few sisters of my friends who are very happy with their in-laws.

  3. and you should refrain from calling grandparents stupid. respecting elders is a MUST in islam.

    i had the BEST grandparents in the world and i loved them very much. and i saw with my very own eyes, their limitless love for me. in fact my mother says her mother-in-law was a very nice person and the person she misses the most in the world.

    i heard a same statement from one of my teachers that when her own mother-in-law passed away, she was so overcome with grief and missed her so much that she went into depression for a while.

  4. I think if this was put as more of an ideology then actually jutsifying and generalising it , it wud ve been better. NOT all joint family systems are the same ! n I know of a lot of people who dont live together but have been victims of such ignorance. I appreciate the discussion of these common problems , yes joint family has its adverse effects but thats just like everythin . You are potraying the true image of some fraction of joint families and not generally as a whole !

  5. Salam, I truly agree with every point u have said here. having just read ur january’s post, i had to just read this one, and will be reading ur other posts too.

  6. So that is why there is no black magic in Europe or the U.S., because they don’t have a joint family system! I never heard of anything more stupid than this. Children who grow up living in joint families have more people to interact with, and are therefore more mature than those who believe in black magic. If what you say is true, practically everyone in Pakistan should have been affected by black magic by now. When children have their grandparents to talk to, they like to spend more time at home, they can become better students and their parents can have more time for social activities.


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