Self confidence is a way of thinking, feeling and acting that implies you accept, respect, trust and believe in yourself. It can be defined as the cumulative result of life experiences: where positive experiences build confidence, negative experiences in which we see ourselves as having failed can do the opposite. But it is worth the effort to really try to boost your self confidence because it can greatly help to insulate you from hurt and set you up for lifelong mental health.
Feeling under confident is a very common normal experience
Our day to day lives can consist of enormous peaks and valleys in confidence levels. It is also a rare person who has not experienced a crisis of confidence at some stage in their lives although some individuals are good at disguising this crisis. One’s self confidence can be at risk in a number of ways – perhaps being caught out by a hurtful remark/criticism, or trampled on by an insensitive individual, or sniped at by a friend who other things on her mind. The good news is that you can arm yourself against those knocks and prevent them leading to a drastic breakdown in self esteem. But self confidence is not something that develops overnight or as a result of a single insight, decision or modification in your behaviour. It is built gradually though a willingness to work on a number of areas in your life.
If you had the good fortune to receive the love, acceptance, and nurturing from your parents that can provide you a solid foundation for self esteem, then your path to increased self confidence is likely to be simple and short, involving certain changes in attitude, habits and beliefs. For those who have carried a life-long sense of insecurity, though, the way to self worth involves developing the ability to give yourself what your parents could not. It is possible to overcome deficits from your past by becoming a good parent to yourself. Our past is a very strong force in our lives. But the force can be redirected. If we allow ourselves to learn from the past, we can use it to guide our future.