Getting married in Pakistan isn’t that straight forward. There are many circuitous and oblique paths one has to traverse, before marriage. There are many different stages through which one has to go through before he/she could ultimately see the moon face of his/her spouse.
Let’s begin with where the boy’s mother asks around for a nice, fair, educated, wealthy, baronial fairy for her ensemble son. How exactly the mother finds out the perfect match for her boy is another story in itself full of adventure, intrigue and fun. After locating the girl, the boy’s mother pays the first visit to girl’s house, just to have a look around and measure things. Upon this first visit, the girl’s family is normally very cagey, because normally they desperately want to please the boy’s mother. They receive her at the gate, or some even offer the pick and drop, they arrange a food-rich tea or dinner for her, which starts and ends with the girl’s mastery at all house-hold things.
The boy’s mother returns to home with girl’s pictures and stories of her skill and virtues. She as an elderly experienced and shrewd woman adept at such things, quickly sift the hype from the reality and discusses everything at great lengths with her daughters and sisters and other close relatives. Then if they think there is a chance, they show the picture and salient features of girl to the boy. If boy agrees, which he has to normally do if the mother is agreed, then the mother take the whole family to girl’s home and again enjoy the party and girl’s stories and invites girl’s family to their home. Boy’s mother also gives the boy’s snap to girl’s mother on this trip along with his specs.
If the girl’s family reaches on the positive consensus, they notify the boy’s family and after the gap of some days, pay a visit to boy’s house. Boy-side also throw a party(though not as garish as girls) and they agree upon some sort of ‘Initial pray’ ceremony. This ceremony is held at girl’s home, where the elders pray for the strength and longevity of this new bond. In this ceremony a dinner or lunch is offered, in which close relatives of both sides take part. In this event, the date for engagement is fixed.
The engagement is also done at girl’s home, where a party on more grand scale is thrown, in which the gold rings are exchanged and rich meal is served for the relatives of both sides, who bring gifts. In the engagement, the date for the marriage is fixed at last.