Right Way To Reduce US Deficit

One of my hobbies is to read ill-informed posts about how the only super power in the world can save more, and then coming up with my own solutions. John Boni hits right square in my guts when he concluded with an intelligent blogging frown that only if America elects Muslims as their congressmen in bulk, then the US deficit will become a WMD i.e. it won’t exist.

You can tell from a mile, when a household American tries to yank-out a post out of nothing. If the post contains references to Muslims and Islam and some weird logic, rest assured that it will also contain reference to the virgins in paradise and other CNN-ised and Fox-ised propaganda.

From the Johnny post, it seems that all the American problems are mainly due to the pork dealing. They for the life of them cannot digest it that some things could be prohibited in any religion. Pork is one of them, and when Boni, who was ill at ease due to pork problem in US, came to know that the pork is not allowed in Islam, he knew the solution right there. Just bring Muslims to the power, and out goes the pork, and out goes the deficit with it.

Like Calculus was discovered independently by Leibniz and Newton at two different ends of the globe, it seems that Boni and I are also pondering our guts out over the same problem, poles apart. We both are concerned about the US deficit and we both are thinking on the same porky lines. You know now the predilection of Boni, well, here is mine.

It’s all about making fuel out of US marines. Nazis have been there and done that. That fuel could just enable US to abort its war in Iraq, and it will automatically end the smoked-screen war in Afghanistan. With the end of these wars, US won’t have to give enormous aid to Pakistan, Turkey, and host of other Muslim countries. With alternate marine fuel, they won’t need the oil from the Middle East, and Kuwaitis can go, bath their camels with oil as much as they want. Just imagine the savings it would yield. No deficit can face such savings.

Now the only question remains is the way through which this fuel could be obtained. I mean, if you think about it, that is what Army is for; to become fodder for the war. Why not properly use them? As a matter of fact, US are using human fuel in Iraq to get the oil. That human fuel also has its own fun by spending some human fuel in Abu Gharib and such places before it gets spent. Instead of sending them oceans apart, why not just combust them at home? There could be more innovation in that. We could have fresh fuel. Just keep a marine ready alongside a fuel machine, and as soon as a vehicle halts to get refueled, put the proud soldier inside the machine, press the go button, and after some grinding seconds, the fuel would be happily powering the vehicle, while the national anthem’s tune comes out of the machine.

Indeed more research is required in this promising field, but anything for reducing the US deficit. Because If US prospers by using this fuel, the world would be a much safer and secure place.

I respect US marines as much as any other human being. I am not really taking a hit at the moral compass of yours. Obviously using humans for fuel is dead wrong, and I am no fan of Hitler or Nirendra Modi, but how else one could balance weirdness? The only option remains: weirdness.


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