Chowrangi

If Pakistan goes to war with United States of America

If Pakistan goes to war with United States of America

1. Rupees four hundred will be needed to buy a dollar on the very first day of the war.
2. All our aircraft will be grounded within a week (if we are able to fight that long).
3. We’ll have no money to import petroleum or even vegetable oil.
4. Prices of food will soar by five hundred percent within three days.
5. Traveling to foreign countries will be very difficult, if not impossible.
6. Since all of us will have to eat grass, there will be a serious grass shortage within a month.
7. Owing to a serious shortage of fuel, no one will be able to drive cars or buses, resulting in a pollution-free environment (after the smoke from the bombing has cleared).
8. Thirty percent of Pakistanis will die due to diseases resulting from hunger and drinking contaminated water.
9. Nine out of ten mullahs will head for Afghanistan on foot. The rest will be too sick to walk.

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Shakir Lakhani

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9 responses to “If Pakistan goes to war with United States of America”

  1. Ice Awan Avatar
    Ice Awan

    what i fain to understand is that most of the people in our country .. specially the so called educated class .. still wants to laugh the most critical situation in our history as a joke …
    this is exactly why we have a joke for a president ….. a joke for a prime minister .. and a joke for a govt …. and that too all >DEMOCRATIC 😀

    Reply
  2. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    Att: Ahmed Ayub, this was not meant to be funny. This is what will happen if the mentally unstable Taliban take over the country and launch large-scale attacks agains U.S. forces in the region.

    Reply
  3. Ice Awan Avatar
    Ice Awan

    Philip my friend, i think we need to get some facts straight here …..
    This is all political crap perpetrated by the then govt that they had no clue and the army chief planned the entire military fiasco. The Kargil operation was carried out with complete authority of the govt …. trust me when i say this .. i am in a posn right now to vouch for that . Further, even the ex ministers, the very cabinet ministers of the Nawaz Sharif have admitted in interviews to Dr Shereen Mazari that briefings of the operation were infact given to Mr Sharif, once in Gilgit at FCNA HQ and another at GHQ in MO Dte. The govt at that time was completely aware of what was going on … but yes …. the facts also show that they were not totally convinced … but did not have the guts to deny that to the mil junta. Their seriousness towards the entire issue is evident by the fact that while the entire operation was being carried out, not a single cabinet meeting was held and even when MR Sharif rushed to USA to see the grand master, only four people in the cabinet were aware of this fact. The only chance that the services chiefs got to meet him was at the Airport where they were told to rush in the last moments to see Mr Sharif before he left for US.
    The entire Kargil episode was further maligned by the free hand the indians got in absence of the lack of diplomatic and media policy of the govt. Inshallah soon the records will come clean … after the interviews of those ministers, have you also not noticed that Mr sharif also never mentioned the name of kargil when leveling allegations against Musharaf in the recent years .. simply becuase he knows … better that this Pandora box is better closed …. Is hamam main sab nangay hain 😀

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  4. Philip Avatar
    Philip

    Shakir, for the Kargil conflict, Nawaz Sharif was surely not responsible. It was Musharraf who secretly planned to sabotage his govt’s peace talks with India.

    I mean how can you trust a country anymore after you are talking to the PM of that country for peace and behind you, the Army General is encroaching on their territory.

    It was sheer treason, and Musharraf should have been hanged for that.

    Reply
  5. Ice Awan Avatar
    Ice Awan

    It is not a matter of being courageous or coward … it is only a matter of perspective … perspective based on facts ….. War against India as altogether a different thing …… that is what we may face and that is what we may even be able to sustain. Remember people .. it is not the army that goes to war … it is a nation. 65 was a different ball game, nation stood together… for once …. 71 was a political debacle cum military fiasco ….. rather be realistic than to be stupid … there is a very thin line between bravery and stupidity … trust me … I KNOW 😀

    Reply
  6. Shakir Lakhani Avatar
    Shakir Lakhani

    In the two major wars we fought with India, we could not last more than three weeks before agreeing to a cease-fire. (The late Z.A. Bhutto thought we could fight for a thousand years, but we could not resist for a thousand hours). During the Kargil conflict, although we had nuclear weapons, our “ganja” had to run to the U.S. for a face-saving end to the war. I’m a realist, I know that our country is in a mess because of lack of education (and our leaders’ corruption).

    Reply
  7. Kashif H Avatar
    Kashif H

    it is just a conspiracy theory…. to scare people and turn the country into chaos…. silly stuff…. and media is a part of it wid some super corrupt politicians

    Reply
  8. Ice Awan Avatar
    Ice Awan

    You my friend have painted a very grim picture. But the big question remains, IF Pakistan and US go to war….. The chances of that ever happening are ever so bleak. Not because i am a wishful thinker, but because of the facts at hand. i am not going to sit and divulge whatever i have in mind. I recommend you read Noam Chomsky. He is a MIT professor, a linguist, a philosopher and an expert on US Foreign policy. Better yet, read his book Imperial Ambitions. You will come to know why i think the chances of such a war are virtually non-existent. I am talking of a direct war, not a proxy one. Yes if at all the Americans, do decide to do something against pakistan, if most probably will be a proxy war, waged by the Indians, on behalf of the great US. The way their strat alliance is growing, the chances of that are ever increasing. Please also note the timings of the americans war cry against pakistan, the re-surfacing of Kashmir uprising and the string of bomb blasts in india. The picture is connected. Move them all to a larger canvas, and you will see for sure that something definitely is cooking up. I just pray that our masters are also capable of putting the dots together and foreseeing the future. We are so good in assessing things in the hind sight, i hope we develop some foresight as well. 😀

    Reply
  9. Ahmed Ayub Avatar
    Ahmed Ayub

    I do not see this comment as even ‘funny’, let alone as an ‘analysis’.

    It is easier discussed and imagined than faced. Be positive, give courageous comments, show some strength rather than losing before the competition starts and letting all your fellows know that you and them have already lost.

    Reply

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