Benazir’s Escorts

Like every notable leader, Benazir Bhutto, the next prime minister of Pakistan must have some brilliant handlers, and one of them is, I presume, Rehman Malik. If he is not an escort or handler or manager or whatever the hell for her, then lets just for the heck of it assume the BB has handlers, like any other leader, but with grave titles and shoddy backgrounds. Imagine how hard it would be to handle the Benazir, especially when she has suddenly finding herself in huge halo of fame and limelight. How do you offer advice to an old lassie whose other advisor is her ego?

I was thinking hard and was going nuts just thinking about this problem after seeing a recent photo of the daughter of east (Who is East?, was the other name of Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto ‘East’?) Ignore this charade and just look at any picture of her. I imagine the Benazir during that photo shoot. When the handlers see the first few digital pictures, they start whispering to each other “You tell him,” and “No, you tell him.” Finally, Amin Fahim musters some courage, and utters a feeble voice and the conversation goes like this:

Amin: Your Highness, about your these pictures…

BB: They’re fabulous, aren’t they?!

Amin: Yes, yes. ofcourse yes. They are as usual better than Mona Lisa. Just one thing. It’s your, um, smile.

BB: Oh, that. That’s what I call my sweetest smile. Do you like it? By the way, its only for the people who are ready to get blown up for me. And not for those muggers, who just stand with me on trucks and waive like idiots.

Amin fainted there, Raja Pervez Ashraf took a step ahead, grabbed the picture and produced an eloquent speech about its immaculateness. BB ignores him and asks Shah Mahmood Qureshi, he produced one of his most cunningly pretty smile and says:

Shah: Well, master, you are paragon of beauty, you are the light of our eyes. but here’s the thing. It is without any doubt the sweetest smile for our internal meetings, but for the outside world, which is as ignorant as interior Sindh, it looks…different.

BB: Different? What do you mean? You thicko.

Shah, for a moment, stood motionless and pondered over the title “thicko”, then imagined himself the next interior minister, and carried on:

Shah: It’s more of a…I don’t know the right words, master.

BB: Try, or you are doomed.

Shah: Ah, Sherry Rehman told me the word, and I am sure she is dying to let you know.

Sherry Rehman looked as she was hit by a Tsunami. She with tight-lips, shook her head frantically, but BB signaled her to come forward and let her know that word.

BB: What, Sherry?

Sherry: You have looney smile. You look like Reema on hashish with that smile..

All the present closed their eyes, and waited for the shooting-order. Amin Fahim decided to remain fainted.

BB: I appreciate your candor, and it saddens to great extent me that Zardari disagrees with you. Wait, I’m getting a message from him now………… It says “Take all these leaders once again in a rally and this time tie them up in front of the truck.”