Aaah!

All through my life, I ve tried to maintain a balance in my personality. I was very honest, truthful, sincere and a good girl.

I always stood by my friends, supported them in no matter what, never did any wrong, just believed in fate. There was a time when I expected a lot from life. I thought I was a good
person and I would get something really good, may be something that I wished for.
But time went and all that happened was what I neither wished for nor ever thought about. I learned that life does not promise to give us what we want.

I learnt that happiness is not in having what we want but wanting what we have.
I started compromising with life and accepting wat’er came my way!

I was honest, I lost.

My cousins loved me, so did my friends…

Eventually, the scenario changed. My friends for whom I was an important person, got their priorities.

I understood that it had to be this way. Had it been me, I would have done the same.

I got a job. I got busy with that. I got a better one and then another better one and life just moved.

All through this phase I was headstrong about the rituals. I loved and I loved and I loved people selflessly.

Hoping that I would get good, expectations from God, but it didn’t happen. Time passed, years went by….

And now at this point something happened that made me realized that nothing’s good..

What ever has to happen, happens.. its not that if I m good nothing bad will happen…

In fact what I saw was people who did bad got good….

I thought God understands… My heart says yes He do… but my head says NO

I had a fight between my head and my heart… My heart eventually lost..

And the strong head won..

Now I have decided to be a bad gal. It’s the first day of my decisions implementation…My face seems very droopy..

Who cares my heart is sad… But my head is happy

I know I wont get anything out of it but at least when the world will blame me, I would be knowing that I did wrong that’s why im being blamed.

Cause when I was a nice person I used to cry in front of God asking for refugee…

Just now entering my emails password..i felt wrong:) my password said something showing that I was loyal to my God.. but I guess, its a past..

Aah thinking is a bad thing, my consent has started humilating me!

So, I guess I should leave…

My conscience is on sale!!! Anyone who wants it can have it.

I want evil to win this time..