Virgin no more

Today I am a virgin no more as Iam a victim of betrayal and deceit which grows within me like a innocent and untarnished pleasure waiting to be embraced. Once I was filled with colors of joy and was always craving for more. I was a bird who left her nest and wandered without fear of darkness and was always assured of returning to her core. I was carefree and enthusiastic and was bound by it to witness life as a whole but realization was never there that wholeness also had shade of despair. I ventured into it and until I realized I was a virgin no more and mishap and adversity was what came in my course.

No one was there to warn and guide me towards this path. It seemed   that in course of my merry way I was ambushed by betrayal that came as delight which I wanted to attain. I went with it into a different zone which I thought was journey of eternal happiness and satisfaction. I trusted my body and soul with it as if it would further cherish and embellish them. I crossed many avenues with it and finally a time came when I was incomplete without it. Its desires and pleasures were now growing within me as form of rebirth of newer contentment and at that instance I believed that I was virgin on more but part of its core.

However contrary to my thought I was not part of its core. It faded away like sunset below the mist and I was left alone gazing only lost hope. Those moments were gone but its effects were embedded in my core. Once felt if I was enriched but now that enrichment felt like a curse surfacing within me and continuously compressing me. Pleasure it gave had turned into pain which is strangling me and I can’t release my self from its veins. As time is elapsing it is growing and Iam bearing. Misery and suffocation is penetrating as sweat is pouring. I am gasping for air and dizziness is slowing propelling. A part of me it seems is slowing drifting and resurfacing. Iam fatigued and exhausted. Pain is at its pinnacle and my body can’t bear more. Suddenly pain is diminishing and new life is breathing. Innocence and purity of it reminds me of myself. How could I have blamed my own reflection for my misery? It was what I convinced with my own desire and now it had given back delight and pleasure which I had lost. Now i want to embrace this moment and regard it as my rebirth. Today It seems that Iam a virgin again waiting to be embraced by colors of joy and not to be deceived by obstacles in my path.

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