Revive your married life

Having problems in married life? Follow simple steps:

1) Treat your spouse or partner as you would your best friend. It’s unfortunate that at times we treat our closest and dearest relationships in rude or even cruel ways.

2) Think of ways you can do the unexpected and thoughtful. Remember how you acted when you fell in love with your spouse and wanted to impress your loved one. Plan and carry out something spontaneous on occasion.

3) Look for ways to compliment your spouse or partner. We all enjoy genuine compliments to brighten our day. Look for those qualities that first attracted you to your loved one.

4) Express your thoughts and feelings carefully. While it’s important to be emotionally open and intimate with our significant other, being in a relationship doesn’t give anyone permission to “let it all hang out” in a hurtful manner.

5) Learn to let go of the small stuff in disagreements. While serious conflict needs to be addressed, many couples argue over issues of little consequence. It can be helpful to ask yourself when you’re annoyed with your loved one, “will this matter next week?”

6) Spend regular time together alone. It’s difficult to remain emotionally close without making an effort to spend quality time together. A danger in long-term relationships is feeling as if you’re living “parallel lives” under the same roof. Relationships don’t run on “automatic pilot”. They take effort and work.

7) Acknowledge each other’s comings and goings. Hug when you say hello and goodbye. Regular physical touch conveys caring and is an expression of love. Tell each other “I love you” every day. When you say the words, look each other in the eyes. Believe me eye contact adds a lot.

8) It’s important to slow down and spend some time focusing on each other at the end of the day. Spend 20-30 minutes each evening check in with each other and discuss the events of your day.

9) Learn how to balance between your spouse and your own parents and siblings, have appropriate and healthy boundaries. This means to have appropriate contact with your families, without permitting them to interfere with your lifestyle and decision-making.