New chemical element discovered in Pakistan!

Pakistani researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

zardarium new chemical element in pakistanThe new element, so far only discovered and found in Pakistan , has been named Zardarium (Symbol = Zm). It has one Presitron, 1 Priministron, 77 Ministrons, 98 deputy Ministrons, 298 National Assemblions, and 100 Senatrons, giving it an atomic mass of 575.

These 575 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Zardarium has no electrons, it is inert, impotent and ineffective. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Zardarium can cause a reaction, that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete, depending upon the kick-back percentage that Zardarium can get. It is neither radioactive nor active and is largely inert except for its psychopathic attraction for corrupt morons, Ministrons, Assemblions and Senatrons. In this respect, another two important inert iso-dopes, Nawazium (Symbol = Nm) and Shahbazium (Symbol = Sm) play a vital role as catalysts by their moronic ineptitude.

Zardarium has a normal half-life of 2 to 5 years. It does not decay, but instead, the whole country undergoes a re-organisational decay in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. The most important chemical quality of Zardarium is its magnetic properties for gold, Dollars, and corrupt morons.

In fact, Zardarium ‘s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become Ministrons and forming iso-dopes as a by-product. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Zardarium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Zardarium becomes Presidentium (symbol = Pz), an element that radiates just as much energy as Zardarium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

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14 thoughts on “New chemical element discovered in Pakistan!”

  1. @ James……..Shakir can win Nobel only and only if he is Jewish, American National and optionally US President.

  2. well done………….. I am shocked by your beautiful and unbelievably unique style of sarcasm………..well Zardarium is seemed to be the bad element of our society…………Thank you sir for expressing your views which are present in almost every Pakistani’s heart

  3. James: Most Pakistanis are morons, which is why they elect people like Zardari and his cronies. I think it’s something to do with most Pakistanis being married to first cousins.

  4. The economy of the country can glow overnight. But that will be only the case if the Taliban are defeated and foreign investment as well as local is encouraged. Pakistan is surely a rich country and this is a great example.

  5. Shakir: …leptons…–did you mean “kleptons?” In my understanding, a klepton is a miniature black hole which consumes everything it touches.

    I dunno, Perfesser, maybe you ought to put this new element up for international peer review; sounds awfully familiar to me, although you all might have a particularly pure form of it.

    When the balance between the ridums-of-the-little-red-wagoniums and the pullums-of-the-little-red-wagoniums is disturbed by the introduction of kleptons in the nucleus of the ridums, the wheels fall off and everybody has to walk.

    So far the only way to get rid of kleptons is to throw them into a real black hole, if you can find one, or wait until two kleptons arrive at equal valence and start to consume each other, having already consumed everything else in sight.

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