All through my life, I ve tried to maintain a balance in my personality. I was very honest, truthful, sincere and a good girl.
I always stood by my friends, supported them in no matter what, never did any wrong, just believed in fate. There was a time when I expected a lot from life. I thought I was a good
person and I would get something really good, may be something that I wished for.
But time went and all that happened was what I neither wished for nor ever thought about. I learned that life does not promise to give us what we want.
I learnt that happiness is not in having what we want but wanting what we have.
I started compromising with life and accepting watâ€™er came my way!
I was honest, I lost.
My cousins loved me, so did my friendsâ€¦
Eventually, the scenario changed. My friends for whom I was an important person, got their priorities.
I understood that it had to be this way. Had it been me, I would have done the same.
I got a job. I got busy with that. I got a better one and then another better one and life just moved.
All through this phase I was headstrong about the rituals. I loved and I loved and I loved people selflessly.
Hoping that I would get good, expectations from God, but it didnâ€™t happen. Time passed, years went byâ€¦.
And now at this point something happened that made me realized that nothingâ€™s good..
What ever has to happen, happens.. its not that if I m good nothing bad will happenâ€¦
In fact what I saw was people who did bad got goodâ€¦.
I thought God understandsâ€¦ My heart says yes He doâ€¦ but my head says NO
I had a fight between my head and my heartâ€¦ My heart eventually lost..
And the strong head won..
Now I have decided to be a bad gal. Itâ€™s the first day of my decisions implementationâ€¦My face seems very droopy..
Who cares my heart is sadâ€¦ But my head is happy
I know I wont get anything out of it but at least when the world will blame me, I would be knowing that I did wrong thatâ€™s why im being blamed.
Cause when I was a nice person I used to cry in front of God asking for refugeeâ€¦
Just now entering my emails password..i felt wrong:) my password said something showing that I was loyal to my God.. but I guess, its a past..
Aah thinking is a bad thing, my consent has started humilating me!
So, I guess I should leaveâ€¦
My conscience is on sale!!! Anyone who wants it can have it.
I want evil to win this time..